Thursday, October 11, 2012

Virus Miscellania

Mr. Amazing Dude and I both came down with head colds this week. Well, we think the invaders are virus bugs and not bacteria. We might have picked them up from my parents who we visited over the weekend or from people at church who we sick when we got together with them a couple of weeks ago (thanks, Debbie! *wink*)

Anyway, regardless how we got it, life has been really weird at our home.

I pity our cat.

While moaning about how much we hate being sick, we've sucked down probably five gallons of tea* in three days and easily plowed through two full kleenex boxes already. Yesterday we dragged ourselves to the local grocery store and bought:

Two quarts of organic, range-free chicken broth
A bag of organic frozen mixed veggies
Condensed "all natural, no msg" cream of mushroom soup
BaNilla Stoneyfield Yogurt (couldn't hurt!)
Tuna and Sardines (in case we got tired of eating chicken)

At this point I'm so sick of tea and soup. And blowing my nose. And breathing through my mouth. And having my equilibrium change everytime I stand up.

Our cat is disturbed, too. She doesn't understand why we're making weird noises and keeps coming over to check if we're ok. On the positive side, she's excited to be curled up sleeping next to us in our bed since we don't normally let her sleep in bed with us at night. (What can I say? Standards slip when one is sick).

At one particularly brilliant moment after a coughing fit, I commented to Mr. Amazing Dude that I sounded like a dying cat. His head being clogged, he echoed, "A suffocating cow?"

*Two teabags were consumed and one CBD Christmas Gifts catalog reviewed during the making of this post. Mr. Amazing Dude was especially concerned over some of the odder "christian" paraphenalia he found in the catalog like the "Living Word" letter opener with a dull blade, floral LED flashlights that he said no self-respecting Ninja would carry around, and the "Armor of God" picture featuring perfect pecs and abs. He wondered why everything in the catalog appeared to be for women, and was particularly disappointed when he realized that the really cool "God's Word warns us of danger and directs us to hidden treasure" laser wasn't really a laser but just a lighted whistle key chain. So depressed with that realization, Mr. Amazing Dude went on to rewrite the taglines on all inspirational posters into de-motivation statements.

Here are a few other randomn quotes courtesy my husband:

"What's up with the seated thinker?? Oh, wait, it's a prayer. Are they constipated?"

"I bet Jesus wished he had the 'Comfort Cross' "

"Oh, there are ties in here. Something for the men. Hmmm. Although, at second look these are ties that women would buy men."

"What's up with this Song of Songs ring? 'My lover is mine' and something about 'browsing through the lilies.' Why is Solomon looking for a new wife?"

Still staring at the ring, cue Gollum-voice: "My lover is MINE! My PRECIOUS! I'LL KEEP HIM FOREVER"

Yeah, that's not creepy or anything.

Isn't it amazing what sort of observations one can make when one's brain cells are in revolt?


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