Bad Plotlines

There's currently a "Worst Storyline Ever Contest" over at Rachelle Gardner's blog. The contest started last week and ends tonight just before midnight. Anyone can enter their best two original attempts at the worst story or movie plot ever and three winners get a free copy of the 2012 Guide to Literary Agents.

And I entered a couple just for fun!

"In this documentary-style film, an inspiring Jordanian rapper with acute halitosis seeks to reverse global climate change by embarking on a world tour singing to unhappy house plants."

"The ill-fated romance between Heisenberg, a lowly electron in a particle accelerator, and the attractive, unstable Aunty-Matter, whose brief, but epic, bond results in mutually assured destruction."

So far there are nearly 200 entries and there is still time for more, but five so far really stand out to me as probable winners:

Frustrated left-handed housewife, Helen, tired of wearing out one rubber glove before the other, goes on a quest for right-handed housewives with whom she can exchange undamaged rubber gloves. (Jackie Ley)

 This psychological thriller follows the shattered lives of eleven youth soccer players whose assistant coach walked into a forest to retrieve a lost soccer ball and never walked out again. (Amanda McCrina)

Marley sets out to fulfill his lifelong dream of having his rock collection on permanent display at the Smithsonian Museum. (Angela Goff)

After escaping a military raid, a peg-legged, one-eyed, Yemeni terrorist disguises himself as a woman and hides out as a secretary on the sixty-seventh floor of The Freedom Tower where he learns to embrace lattes, Uggs, and skinny jeans, fall in love, and become a fine secretary – until his friends seek to draw him back to their next plot. (Wes Hodges)

And my absolute favorite:

A rogue zombie risks his own pseudo-immortality as he endeavors to prove to a group of lifelong NRA members in an abandoned building that all any undead creature really wants is a hug. (Ben Erlichman)

Congrats to whomever writes the worst storyline!